this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
