Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize