the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
