y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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