Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize