Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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