my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so much tequila, so little girl.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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