i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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