Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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