Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
