don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im six kinds of drunk right now
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
