Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
