she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Someone came in the potted fern
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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