there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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