Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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