I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
