Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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