Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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