Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
