after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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