it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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