I'm jealous of your bromance
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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