What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
false alarm, still single
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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