Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
