her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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