Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
