i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize