im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She told me I should be a condom model.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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