If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
