somebody snuck up and got me drunk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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