butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
