I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize