Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
