I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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