? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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