so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
