How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The air taste purple.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
