just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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