So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
