Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
