Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
