who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
