Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
