When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
