I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
