i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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