but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize