my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
