I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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