I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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