How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize