Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
