I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize