im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
