We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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