No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Randomize
