He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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