Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
