Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
