And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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