Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
