i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
