omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
