When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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