im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
