Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
